“It is very difficult to teach navigation theory to someone who clings to the shore.”
― Carol Bly
As the months of the calendar seem to turn over faster and faster, I have come to see that as with all of life, the focus of my blog is due for a change. The reason I created this blog in the first place back in 2015 was to organize my jumbled mind into some semblance of coherence for myself. A tool to guide myself to self-expression on a linear platform for greater self-understanding and self-awareness. I am now looking back on my (much) younger self with compassion and respect. Her deep desire to transform every aspect of her unhappy life was a tall order for somebody used to following orders of authority figures without question. Writing out her insights as she unwound from putting herself through a life that was incongruent to her essential nature and focusing on what was possible certainly assisted in her awakening to positive aspects of herself that she had ignored or discounted. I highly recommend blogging for oneself if drawn to it. At the same time, writing as a chore is not encouraged.
2023 is now underway and my focus has changed and elevated. I have come to know and separate out my challenges. I have uncovered my free will, the birthright of all living men and women. Buried under truckloads of to do lists, rulesets of how my life should look and feel, huge regrets and victim mentality, my free will was bound and gagged in a dark closet waiting for me to slow down and shine the light of truth on what was hiding it from me. I searched high and low to uncover a select few of trustables who have and are walking the path of uncompromising truth. Role models assisting me in making sense of how the world works in a manner I can understand and work with. I have achieved a sense of internal order from which to navigate my life choices using empowerment rather than self-sabotage.
As I navigate these times, I now have a new and growing desire for my blog: To articulate and share some of the processes of how I arrived at this new perspective. I have the innate nature of an educator, which I think will come in handy in this next phase. How have I created a level of internal freedom which has enabled me to live peacefully in Mexico with a growing intelligibility in my mental and emotional states? The answer to this question, dear reader, will be the focus of my writings going forward, with some exceptions, I am sure. As I unwind the effects of my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual trauma, I give myself new opportunities to experience a pure joy and expansion on a daily basis. I continue to use my free will to choose courage over cowardice, expansion into the unknown over self-sabotage on auto-repeat and a dogged determination to uplevel my day-to-day life experience.
Simply put, my new focus is a continuing process of tuning into coherence. In my past I was tuning into dissonance, which I was really good at, but had the opposite effect of my deep desire for the truth of who I really was and reaching my full human potential. According to heartmath.org, coherence always implies correlations, connectedness, consistency and efficient energy utilization. Any thought or emotion or physical experience in the material world that does not align with these traits is not what I want to experience. If it sounds like a huge life overhaul could be required to achieve coherence, in my particular case you are correct! Luckily, I have not given myself a deadline in this task. This is certainly a lifelong endeavor.
As my heart has started to unthaw from decades of protective freeze, I have uncovered an internal power I have never experienced before. One aspect of the process I have found to clear out limiting behaviors is paying attention to what bothers or triggers me as I go about my day. When I observe a trigger and call it out an internal shift takes place. The act of acknowledging it then calling it out changes outcomes for me. The simple act of recognizing and calling out an unwanted or limiting pattern I see within myself gives me the opportunity to change the outcome going forward from a higher consciousness. This may sound like a simple task but to one who avoided uncomfortable truths and focused on adding on layers of “self esteem” for decades this process can be excruciating at times.
An ability to discern lies from truth and the sales pitch from sincerity are a couple of abilities I have gained that come to mind. These new skills create a deeper sense of self-respect and confidence. This makes sense because when a system or a man or woman comes into coherence it begins to release things that are less than harmonious generating more room for competence. Cacophony will always drown out harmony, so it must go.
Not to sugar coat my process, the gains come at great cost to the lies I used to tell myself. The perspective that my life can be an adventure into the unknown rather than a fearful focus on approaching the unknown with trepidation is 100% worth the time and effort for me when my history is taken into consideration. The deep knowing and sense of freedom that I now have access to is priceless. Future unknowns are a constant. Our mindset, emotions and decisions determine the opportunities available to us within this framework. I choose the higher path to integrating wisdom, knowledge and intelligence into making my life choices. The path of tuning into coherence. Join me in exploring this exciting and little known path.